On those rare days I'm at site......

6-11-10

As I expected the moment I took the time and considerable effort to get my computer out the rain would stop. Rainy season has come and gone but this morning we are being treated to an unanticipated out of season rain. It actually reminds me a bit of Portland in the spring, it’s cold and drizzly. Mind you by cold I mean it’s probably 65 degrees perhaps even 68 at worst I would put it at 60 but no doubt it’s much warmer. As one acclimates to the scorching temperatures here in Dwambazi, they lose their capacity to be any sort of judge of temperature. All I know is whatever the temperature may or may not be it feels damned cold to me.
The rain has resumed, I suspect it’s going to be an on and off again sort of a rain but however light the rain may be it will ensure that no one comes to the hospital, thus affording me the opportunity to collect my thoughts and try to get some back log blogging done. I am sure you all noticed my lack of blog postings and perhaps you have wondered why.
For the last couple of months my schedule has been, Charity comes over after dinner, we practice a little Tonga or just chat, or we have a movie night. Oh the movie nights, we have exhausted my limited supply of movies which is a shame as I enjoy movie nights. Actually that’s a lie; we are still on our way through the BBC special Planet Earth, which Alex left behind and has been a lot of fun to watch together.
Most films that come into Malawi are of the action variety, charming little numbers that uphold heinous gender norms and are chocked full of violence, so it’s nice to be able to offer entertainment that has some educational value and say in the case of the Never Ending Story is full of just pure joy. The Never Ending Story was a big hit, we’ve watched it a couple of times. A surprise hit was none other than Robin Hood Men in Tights. I wasn’t sure if it would go over well but indeed it was much enjoyed.
Bringing this all back to my absence of blogs, I haven’t really had the time alone required to spew out the stream of consciousness that you all know and love. To bring you all up to speed, I just got back from Lilongwe. I had gone in for Mid Service Training (uneventful) and then stayed for a week or so to do GLOW work, which is coming along well. There are ups and downs for sure (major up the 1.6 million Kwacha ($10,666) Vanessa and I squeezed out of Ministry of Education, downs attempting to organize 20 volunteers with very different personality types). Of course things are going to explode into a frenzy of final prep and logistics snafus but it’s going to be well worth it.

6-12-10
Untimely interruption. I cut off there as the electricity went out and I had to shut down my lap top ASAP. Perhaps you’re thinking that the whole purpose of the lap top is that it can run on battery power, and yes that is true, but after a year of faithful service my computer battery has copped it. I’m no electrician but there’s something different about the electrical current here and by different I mean when my hot plate is turned on it often shocks me like hot wire, not excruciating but jolting and annoying. Same thing happens with my I-Pod stereo, oh the trials and tribulations. I think the powerful Malawian electrical current is particularly draining on things like computer batteries but really it’s no matter as I am fortunate enough to have electricity I can still use my computer when the electricity is cooperating.
Of recently the electricity has been out a lot. Freddy attributes this to the World Cup, I can’t think of any logical reason the world cup would affect Malawian power but I am still inclined to blame the world cup for the inconvenience.
So updates on my life. Charity and Ama Bai are in Lilongwe, they’ve been there for I think two weeks now. Ama Bai went in for physical therapy, she had a mild stroke not long after I arrived here and as you can imagine it’s caused a whole host of health problems. At the top of the list would be her lack of mobility thus she’s doing physical therapy in Lilongwe. I went to go visit her in the hospital as we were both in Lilongwe at the same time. I have gotten pretty used to the state of disrepair that health facilities are in but it was disheartening to see where she was at given it was supposed to be a major improvement in the health care she’s receiving. As Charity is gone I have had a lot more down time since returning to Dwambazi. I miss Charity, I hope they make it back soon, they were supposed to be back yesterday but alas no.
I’ve kind of hit a wall with work at site, frankly I’ve been feeling discombobulated of recently, but I’m sure it will pass, I’ll get some traction and things will get moving again. Part of the challenge is that I am out so much for GLOW, it makes it difficult to get things going here. I can’t really commit to anything until after GLOW but GLOW is going to be amazing so it will be well worth it. Challenge number two which is probably the biggest challenge EVER is the disconnect between the district and local level, sweet god it’s a pain in the ass. Nkhotakota district assembly is an absolute shit show which creates a real break down in the service delivery chain and they are the institution that is supposed to support community based organizations (CBOs) and as they don’t have it together it makes it real difficult to get things together at the community level.
Wow that sounded negative, I’m just a little frustrated. But it will be okay, my plan of attack after GLOW is to work to improve the linkages between the district and Dwambazi and do capacity building with the CBOs. I’ve identified various well placed individuals who I think will be on board with getting things together.
My girls group, Women 2 Women is still amazing. In fact I am expecting Mevis and Enella anytime now, we are going to go collect various seeds that we are going to use to make necklaces. They’re really beautiful and I think a great way for the group to raise funds as they require almost no monetary input. Fear not you will be hearing more about this in the future because if the girls start making necklaces my plan is to ship some home, say to Bend or Hood River, and see if you can sell them.
The gay rights battle wages on, I’ll elaborate more at another time. As you can imagine I have a lot to say on the subject.
Peter is well, he had a very Sam moment the other day. As he was watering my plants while I was gone I gave him a little money to buy some new clothes at the market (by new clothes I mean goodwill clothes that get shipped over) which he was most excited about. So anyway off he went to pick out a shirt and some pants and he returned with the greatest outfit ever. A lovely pink long sleeved shirt and shorts, oh they are magical, those shorts. Think golf shorts, they are a soft purple plaid with some very nice gold inlay. I’ll be sure to take a picture soon. When it was just me and him, he looked at me with his big Peter smile and said, “Ndachena” meaning, “I’m looking nice”.
Uchi is also well, as per usual she’s right here with me taking a little dog nap. I can’t get over how big she is. I weighed her at scale yesterday and she is a whopping 16.5kg, roughly 32 pounds. One of these days soon I need someone to take a picture while I weigh her, as it involves wrapping her in a chitenge and then hanging her from the scale. Its pretty damn funny and it never fails to crack people up when she’s dangling there, like a baby. I don’t know if I mentioned the scale is the very sort of scale you would weigh meat with, if that helps give you a better picture of what this weighing process looks like.
I’ve been here a year, I don’t know if that sounds as surreal to you as it does to me? July 31st will make one year in Dwambazi. I guess my general feeling is that it’s gone incredibly fast but then again that would depend on what day you asked me. I have been away for a year, I’m still not sure what it make of it. Now begins the soul searching about what now. Do I extend my service for a third year? I’m certainly giving it a lot of thought. Do I look for work here or do I come home and look at grad programs?
I miss home, I miss you all, there are things missing in my life, things I left behind the absence of which I feel acutely but I’m still not sure I can leave my life here behind either. Mariel pointed out I’m a bit of a transient person and that much of my life those dearest to me were far away, so I suppose I am well suited to being able to be far from those I love.
I don’t know, it’s still too early to call it one way or the other. At this time my feeling is if I can find work that allows me to do something beneficial and productive, I’ll stay. Cause as much as I enjoy my life here, the jury’s still out on whether I am doing anything that is substantially improving people’s lives and that has got to change. I need something resembling an unequivocal yes.
I can’t believe I am actually going to write this but here goes. Another consideration to throw into the mix…..Sometimes I think I am really going to regret not having children, that perhaps it’s a decision that would say haunt me. Of course, as with all things I’m completely conflicted. Yes I think I will regret it if I miss out on raising children but I can’t say I think it’s a good idea for me to have kids, I fear the kind of parent I would be and why isn’t it enough to help children who desperately need it?
But assuming I do want to have children, this raises questions and concerns about extending my stay in Malawi. One I am fast approaching 30 with no job prospects in the immediate future and I need some sort of fiscal security if I am going to be responsible for small people. But that I actually think is the easiest hump to get over. I’m pretty confident I could parent successfully on a modest income and I am not uncomfortable with the idea of raising children abroad but I think it would be most unwise to parent without a strong support network, say like a partner. And the likelihood that I am going to stumble upon such a person here is highly unlikely. Of course my feeling is that one has little control over whether they find a partner or not regardless of where they are. I’ve seen too many folks tie themselves in knots trying to “find” the person to spend the rest of their lives with but that having been said being here just reduces the probability say one hundred fold. I suppose it will all come out in the wash, I’ll either find myself in a future that makes children possible or I won’t. It hurts my head to try to sort it out much more than that but I figured I’d throw it out there as it’s been on my mind.
I have completed ONE YEAR of Peace Corps service! Go me! It has been a year that despite my best attempts eludes description. I appreciate all of you beautiful people who have bravely followed my attempts to narrate my life, you’re amazing. And just think we have a whole another year of blogging joy.


6-17-10
Magical Moments…..About a month ago this happened…..
I was hanging out with Sauda, I had her with me for quite some time, so I figured I’d better take her back to Ama Chimbuto as she was probably due for a little breast feeding. I arrived at the Chimbuto’s house where I found Ama and a small gathering of women. The following exchange took place in Tonga and it went a little something like this.
Me, “I brought Sauda because she wants to nurse”
Ama, (laughs) “Why didn’t you just nurse her”
Me, (laughing), “I’m without milk” said while patting my breast
Everyone laughing
Ama (stands up), “Lets see”
I saw it coming. I figured it was only a matter of time before Ama publicly disrobed me, it’s just her style. I love Ama Chimbuto she cracks my shit up, she’s funny and pretty crass, in a good way.
Anyway she walks over to me, (remember there is an audience for this event) pulls down my shirt, then pulls down my bra thus leaving my right breast flying free and pronounces my breasts to be “m’be yampha”, “nice boobs”. She then thrusts Sauda at my exposed milkless boob. Thankfully Sauda is too old to be attempt to nurse off of just anyone, so it was all for show. I, like all those present, found it to be exceptionally amusing, hope you do as well.

6-22-10
Been doing a little light reading these days, I’m simultaneously going through The Fate of Africa: A History of Fifty Years of Independence and Dead Aid: Why Aid is Not Working and How there is a Better Way for Africa. The Fate of Africa is a light hearted 700 page read chronicling colonial Africa to present day. It’s actually been quite informative and seems to be reasonably objective, I have yet to sniff out any hidden agendas or glaring biases. It sometimes teeters on the edge of the all too common practice of portraying Africa as a continent full of nothing but misery, suffering, corruption, and greed but it generally comes back from the precipice and as compared to most of what is written about the continent it does a decent job. It has heightened my distaste for international politics and left me with an indescribable level of disgust with foreign policy; how the decisions of individual men and sadly sometimes women (thanks Mrs. Thatcher), often blinded by lust for power or dogmatic worldviews, put in place policies, the consequences of which they are so far removed from that they perpetuate suffering, violence, and general violation of human rights on a massive scale. The ramifications although costing millions of lives, will never be felt by those inept morons who made the call in the first place.
I decided to undertake reading it while I was reading Dead Aid as Ms. Moyo in making her case for why aid is fundamentally flawed and thus explores the history of aid across the continent so I wanted a better context to put her argument in. Frankly I think Ms. Moyo has been drinking the kool aid at Goldman Sachs for too long. Granted I’m only just now getting to her “better way for Africa” and she employs a lot of economics jargon which can make for some tough going. Her whole discussion of “Dutch Disease” left me with a throbbing headache and little understanding of how or why it’s a problem and how aid exacerbates it.
That having been said some of her critic of aid is certainly valid as well as timely and needed. There should be a massive rethinking of how aid is delivered and programs are implemented. I just feel that Ms. Moyo takes her argument well beyond sense and reason and takes her reader on a tour of crazy land. I believe she is of the Chicago School of Economics which generally spells trouble and a burning love a market based solutions pursued with the single mindedness of a religious zealot . When you find yourself using Sudan as an example of the magic of free markets, I think your vision of the way forward has some fundamental flaws. Pretty sure when I dream of a better world it doesn’t look like West Darfur.


6-27-10
Back from my shortest stay in Lilongwe ever. I will be returning in two days time but I needed to come back to check up on my girls group and pick up the necklaces they are making so I can attempt to sell them in Lilongwe and there is a meeting or two that I should go to. Really from now until GLOW is over I am going to be out of site more often than not so I thought I should come back even if only for a few days. The only inconvenience is that traveling between my site and Lilongwe is a day long procedure that really takes it out of you. Which brings me to the following:
Advice to Travelers…….If you find yourself traveling in a developing country, say like Malawi, that has horrendous public transport and you are so fortunate to have a car at your disposal then for the sake of all things holy and sacred, pick people up. It’s not that hard, really I swear.
As for safety, sure you might want to avoid the visibly drunk guy, but the two girls on their way to school, or say a slightly grubby wind swept Peace Corps volunteer, I think you’ll be okay. In a county like Malawi nearly all forms of transport are glorified forms of hitch hiking so someone standing by the side of the road looking for a ride is not a deviation from the norm, it isn’t a red flag that perhaps something is wrong with that person, it is how people get around. Whatever decision you make just be sure never to be party to the following scenario.
A couple weeks ago I was going to my friend Melanie’s site, some 30 km north of my house. As it is such a short distance I am more than comfortable hopping in a matola as waiting for a hitch isn’t cost effective or time efficient but while waiting for a matola I will always attempt to flag down private vehicles that are passing.
This is exactly what I did when I saw a flashy pick up with a completely empty bed barreling in my direction. Even from a distance it was clear that this was a vehicle manned by tourists but sometimes tourists remember to pack their souls and sense of decency when traveling so I figured I had a fighting chance.
What then happened filled me with such a sense of rage that it defies description. Had I been able to summon the power of super speed I would have chased that truck down and kicked their asses. Truthfully I considered it even without any extraordinary abilities. Whenever some tourist flys past me in their fancy rental vehicle without so much as a apologetic shake of the head I generally am left with a feeling of great displeasure. When that tourist flys past me, sans any sort of eye contact but has the audacity to take my picture, I discovered that I am filled with a homicidal rage.
Really you spoiled little piece of shit, that’s how it’s going to be. Let me tell you something you little worm, I do not want to be on your face book page. “Here are all my pictures of when I was traveling around Africa, look at all those poor people”, “see how worldly I am”, “Oh heres a picture of that person we left standing by the side of the road”. I swear to you, you smarmy little bastard if I ever find you I will give you an earful about why you are a sub standard human being and a kick in the balls just for good measure.
Had to get that out of my system. I could keep going but I think I would be better advised to channel and transform the hot ball of anger at the core of my being caused by inane and discourteous tourists into fiery passionate language about the need for women’s empowerment and work on the final phase of the GLOW curriculum. The curriculum is finished I am just doing some revision and expansion to get it as solid as possible. We are trying to get the curriculum certified by the Ministry of Education. What that means is if the Ministry of Education’s Life Skills Curriculum programmers sign off on our curriculum it will be considered an official government approved curriculum. To have our program be recognized in such a way is a huge accomplishment which goes beyond just this year’s GLOW. If our program is approved by Ministry of Education it would mean a secure source of funding. Not a crazy rush for funds from year to year but a consistent known partner. Furthermore it means that Camp GLOW will survive beyond Peace Corps. At this time Peace Corps volunteers make the program happen, if we were gone the program would be no more. If we get our very awesome program certified then that curriculum is part of the government’s bag of tricks then even if Peace Corps is gone they can still use it. Way to go team!

6-29-10
I feel like a horrible person. I thought coming back to site for a few days and then returning to Lilongwe might be a good thing. You know show people I can go to Lilongwe without staying for weeks and I had to pick up the necklaces my girls group is making but damn I think coming and then going again so quickly backfired. I got the necklaces, although my girls weren’t as on top of it as I would have hoped, we’ll have to chat when I get back. And people were pleased that I returned swiftly and efficiently but they seemed equally dismayed when I revealed that I would be leaving so soon and now on the eve of my departure I feel shitty.
Also it’s Sauda’s birthday and I don’t feel like I gave it proper acknowledgement. I’ve been running around all day trying to get things together and I think Ama Chimbuto was disappointed that I didn’t make a bigger fuss over Sauda, which is totally fair, Sauda deserves all the attention in the world for her first birthday. And Ama has been kind enough to let me pack Sauda around to my hearts content and refers to me as her baba mother so I’m pretty sure I failed. I’ll make up for it when I return.
I know that once I get through GLOW I’ll be able to put all of my time and energy into site and that surely this will all work out. GLOW is going to be amazing and I know I am doing something decent by participating in it. I’ll have a whole year in Dwambazi, I just have to get through August.
I believe I’m having an angsty freak out because part of me worries that this has been a common theme ye’ this past year and perhaps come August I won’t deliver or that it will be too late, that people will have written me off as all talk no show. Take a deep breath Megan, stop the anxiety hemorrhage, you’re gonna make it.
Like how I talked myself down there, charming I know. I’m trying to think of a humorous or light hearted tale to share with you. Particularly to make up for the fact that I just vomited my angst all over those of you who are so kind as to keep up on the comings and goings in my life. Alas I’m coming up short, perhaps it’s best to call it a night, continue on with The Fate of Africa, and wake up bright and early tomorrow and prepare for a big day of travel.

Yet another wish list update

Some items I could use refreshers on:

Coffee, we are down to the last of the good stuff, send reienforcements soon.

Nutragrain bars and sweet and salties, mmmmm delicious

Jolly ranchers, lots of volunteers get them in packages and I must say its a wise choice.

Lotion

chocolate chip cookies

Batteries AA

M&Ms and Reeces

professional clothing, help!!!! I can't for the life of me dress myself for formal meetings

the last wish list still applies these are just things that have come to me during this long sojurn in Lilongwe. Thanks
Oh and any fun small things you want to slip in for arts and crafts stuff for GLOW would be amazing. beads, feathers, glitter glue, lip gloss, stickers, really a raid on the dollar store would be the way to go

My most rambly work ever

2-21-10
Home, again. Peter said the funniest thing today, or at least I found it deeply amusing. He asked me Ndingaluta ku nyumba yikulu- Can I go to the big house? As I’m standing there trying to figure out which house he’s talking about and why he wants to go there, Peter notes my puzzled expression and clarify’s adding chimbudzi, or as we say in English toilet. I’m not sure if big house is another word for toilet and I was just woefully ignorant of this fact or if it’s just Peter, either way I found it humorous.
I’ve been back at site for a bit now and alas the bulk of my time thus far has been taken up by the fingerfuck of attempting to track down my lost phone and then once that failed acquiring a new one. It was an endeavor (I will spare you the details) but it’s my own damn fault for being so sloppy with my last phone. The only TNM phone that was available in all of Dwangwa may be the ugliest little phone ever, it looks exactly like a small calculator and at first I hated it for that, but now I must say I think I actually like that my phone is absolutely horrendous. I can only imagine how ridiculous I look talking into my mini calculator and that mental image pleases me.
In short this past week hasn’t been particularly note worthy but still it’s good to be back. I believe I have worked out all the logistical snafus, aside from losing my phone I took the wrong hope kit home which means my stock of wine which was safely stowed away in said hope kit amongst other essential items like my rain jacket, is now in Chisala with Vanessa and I need to go collect it in a week or so and then of course the ongoing battle with my electricity. Not sure if I have mentioned the issue with lights in my house but it’s a pain in the ass. For some unknown reason the lights in both the front room and the kitchen no longer work, which although annoying was fine as I had light in my bedroom and my hot plate worked just fine (I am intimately aware of the fact that I am incredibly privileged to have electricity at all) but then the bulb in my bedroom blew and when I went to take the bulb out I found it was stuck in there something fierce so now I’m down to one functional light which is outside. I’ve been trying to tap into my electrical skills and at this point have had no luck but I’m hoping to at least salvage the light in my bedroom today. So yeah lots of technical issues but now that most of them are resolved I can move onto to bigger and better things, like the crap ton of work I should be doing pretty much all the time until my next trip to Lilongwe. We’ve been making good progress with GLOW but there’s still plenty I need to get done this month and I have two grants that I need to write as well which I have reason to believe is going to be a bit of a time consumer.
If you were wondering, as I’m sure you were, Uchi is doing excellent. I took her to scale (under five clinic) on Friday and weighed her to the amusement of all the women there, she’s getting a bit big for wrapping up in a chitenge. She is currently a strapping 14.3 kg and beautiful as ever. At present she is, as per usual, napping beside me, we’re having a lounging around the house sort of a day. Speaking of being completely unproductive I have spent so much time playing around with the videos I took with my flip, it may be the most amazing thing ever. Not sure if you all know what a Flip is, I didn’t until Kim and Mike (the greatest people ever) sent me one. It’s a really cool little (fits in the palm of my hand) camcorder with a built in USB so you can plug it right into your computer and do all sorts of fun things with the footage. The other night I was up until 2 AM making a little movie magic (oh you stellar development worker). At this point the bulk of the stuff I have recorded is just us screwing around in Lilongwe and Mponela but I can foresee great things happening when I start filming around Dwambazi, I just have to get over my shyness regarding walking around filming. I just recently got over feeling completely ridiculous taking my camera around so it might take another week or so to work my way up to the Flip.
2-22-10
There is a lot of kindness in people. My neighbor Charity is a testament to this statement. This is a young woman who has a workload that most of us from the developed world can never really understand. She’s the live in caretaker for her Aunt, Ama Bai, she is often caring for one of our neighbor’s infants or young children and as she has no children of her own and is unmarried she’s the go to person in our community if you need a hand. In addition to the multitude of responsibilities that come with running a household here she also farms maize. Aside from the money she’ll make when she sells her maize she has no income and yet I’m always welcome at their home for a meal.
Today she invited me over for lunch; not only did she feed me but after we all ate she proceeded to give Uchi a large plate of nsima. I returned to her house this evening as I wanted to learn how to cook pumpkin leaves and she had volunteered to teach me and for the second time today she told me I should eat with her and Ama Bai. As we sat down to eat I apologized for eating yet another meal at their house and Ama Bai said “we have nsima so you are most welcome”. I lack the words to express how humbling it is to be the recipient of such goodness. Here I am, this incredibly privileged person, who by Malawian standards has never worked a day in their life, bumbling around the community, speaking jumbled Tonga, completely insulated from most the challenges and health risks people here face and yet people invite me in and offer me what food they have. I spend a lot of time at Ama Bai and Charity’s house but they are not alone in their openness and generosity.
I don’t want to romanticize life here or the people, not everything is cast in a rosy glow. There are certainly people who embody some lesser character attributes but by in large most of what I see in people is goodness and I’m left with this profound sense of being completely undeserving; not only of the kindness I receive daily from my neighbors but for the lifetime of privilege that I did nothing to earn.
I don’t often write about the poverty here, I think for fear of being some sort of voyeur of suffering or exploiting people. How do you write about the child who came to under five clinic so terribly wasted that I was afraid to touch him? I referred him to the nutritional rehabilitation unit, I remember feeling pleased that I was able to communicate efficiently with his mother in Tonga and get him registered in the program, he died three days later. AIDS is a monstrous thing in children. Children with swollen bellies, skin infections and big eyes; the eyes of malnourished children always seem too big for their little faces. Most everyone who dies at this hospital dies of treatable diseases, and more often than not it’s not the disease itself that kills them. People die of anemia because the nearest hospital where they can receive a transfusion is a two hour car ride away. My old medical assistant, Ada Luwe’s daughter died, a week after her first birthday. You could say complicated malaria killed her or perhaps it was the lack of medication to stop her seizures and the prolonged wait for the ambulance, in short the misfortune of being born into one of the poorest countries in the world.
This hospital serves a population of ten thousand and we have no doctor and no electricity. Our primary school has around eight hundred students and nine teachers; the secondary school is perhaps in even worse shape with two small buildings, five teachers, and no electricity. The health surveillance assistants who work at the hospital make about one dollars a day (one dollars would buy a kg of rice or a small jar of peanut butter) and they are more fortunate than most. People wear the clothing that Goodwill and Value Village couldn’t sell; shipped over in bulk and sold in the markets the cost of the clothing is such that a child maybe has a shirt or two, a skirt or a pair of pants in varying states of disrepair and generally severally sizes too big.
The average person in my community lives on less than a dollar a day and has no electricity or running water. It’s easy to say a person has no running water but much more difficult to comprehend what that actually means. For every dish you want to wash, every meal you must prepare, or child you bathe imagine the weight of the twenty liter bucket on your head and the kilometer or so walk to carry it back home. Never in my life have I seen women work so hard and I have been fortunate enough to have some incredibly strong women in my life. It makes me wonder what kind of person I am, that I can see these things and still spend time lazing around my house drinking a beer and writing in my journal completely absorbed in my own thoughts. How is it that we put these things away? It seems to me it’s the double edged sword of our existence; if we really carried these things with us we’d crumble under the weight but the fact that we can put them away, that we can compartmentalize and rationalize perpetuates the misery that no one wants to see. Maybe that’s a very privileged person’s take on the situation, a cop out of sorts. Maybe I just don’t have it in me to care as much as I should, I suppose time will tell.
This is an incredibly poor country where the vast majority of the population is being denied their most basic of human rights but I don’t want to reduce this country or my community down to a place of poor people. I think that far too often countries like Malawi and Africa as a whole are portrayed as places of misery that perhaps deserve our compassion but are too far gone and are beyond our capacity to help. I don’t want in anyway to contribute to that sort of narrative as it is terribly damaging and frankly insulting but I do want you to understand the challenges people face. I see horrible injustices here on a daily basis but also beauty and goodness that I can’t begin to properly describe.
2-25-10
It’s been raining most of today; cool, pleasant, and quiet. I had a meeting scheduled for two this afternoon but alas we’ll have to reschedule. Meetings are more often than not held outdoors so the rain becomes an issue in a big way, I’ve had two meetings canceled this week due to rain but such is rainy season. But glory be now I have time to pursue the noble course of blogging.
I’m having a hell of a time writing today, which is too bad as I’m in the mood to write I’m just not getting anywhere. I’m actually kind of sleepy; I keep toying with the idea of taking a nap even though I know it’s not going to happen as I’m constitutionally incapable of napping and god knows it would mess with my limited ability to sleep through the night. I’m actually desperately craving sweets, mmmm something chocolatey would change my life right about now, that and some popcorn, sweet delicious popcorn; add a movie to that…. oh stop, its too beautiful a thought.


2-26-09
Note worthy events:
Perhaps the most disgusting thing ever- So Uchi had what I thought was a small abscess on her ear. No biggie I planned on cleaning it up and perhaps draining it. So as I’m applying gentle pressure to her ear I see something white emerging from the swollen area, something that was too solid to be pus. I continued to apply pressure and what should come out of my dogs body but a MAGGOT. Yeah that’s right a nasty, vile, very much alive maggot. Some evil fly, the type that lay their evil eggs in the bodies of the living, had planted its seed in my sweet dogs ear. I extracted four creepy crawlies from Uchi’s ear, it was traumatic but I managed to make it through. Uchi’s ear is fully recovered, hopefully that was the only maggot extraction I will ever have to deal with in my entire life. I suppose the silver lining is that I wasn’t squeezing maggots out of my body which has no doubt happened to volunteers.

Bat Attack- As I calmly lay facedown on the cool concrete floor of my bedroom looking over my shoulder at my wee bat friend franticly zipping around I was surprised by just how little I was concerned that there was a bat flying around my bedroom just above me. I had been sitting on the floor typing away when Mr. Bat made a detour into my room and though his appearance startled me a bit I figured I’d just stay out of his way and he’d leave eventually. I have nightly bat visitors, normally they just come into my back area to eat the bugs that flock to the outdoor light and every now and then I’ll see one fly into the house real quick like but normally I’m outside smoking when this happens so I haven’t actually spent quality time indoors with my friends. I say friends but I like to think of it as just one bat, the same one coming to say hi, checking in on things night after night. I actually like bats, they’re incredibly cool creatures, but as much as I think they are fascinating with their funny muppet like little faces and they way they walk on their wings, nobody enjoys it when they fly right at you and I was impressed with how bold I have become in the face of dive bombing bats.

Sima explosion- I normally look forward to dropping a little bit of weight when I’m at site. Its not that I give up food or something ridiculous like that, I just don’t gorge at site and I tend to be reasonably active. Its also extraordinarily hot here which puts you off cooking, there’s no deterrent to over eating like a fiery hot kitchen in 100 degree weather. But alas I think dropping a pound or two is a thing of the past as Charity seems deeply concerned with my lack of twice daily sima cooking and has taken it upon herself to make sure I am getting my daily dose of sima. It’s not unusual for me to eat a meal with friends or neighbors but we have moved into uncharted territory. For the past week Charity finds me everyday at lunch and tells me I should come over and eat sima and then she seeks me out again at dinner. Charity and Ama Bai went to Nkhotakota for a few days and I have reason to suspect that she asked Ama Dambo to bring me sima in the evenings or perhaps Ama Dambo is in on the get Megan sima fat conspiracy because without fail she sent her granddaughter by every night with a heaping plate of sima. Don’t get me wrong I do like me some sima but I think I have found my sima threshold but I like spending time with Charity and it may be the most thoughtful thing that someone has done for me in awhile.

2-28-10
I’ve finally done it; it only took me six months or so but no matter. I have learned health songs, the very songs that make magic happen at under five clinics. I knew the jist of several of the songs but I didn’t know them well enough to sing them in their entirety, solo. I kept saying I was going to ask someone and then write them down but as per usual I would not get around to it but today in a rare show of initiative I went to Ama Chipalasa’s house and we pounded out some singing magic. The idea came to me last night while I was having dinner with Charity and Ama Bai and Ama Chipalasa walked by singing a song I recognized from under five clinic so in a moment of inspiration I asked her “mungawovyia ine” can you help me and then proceed to ask her if she could teach me songs about health and so this afternoon I found myself at her home singing away much to the amusement of the many children who gathered the moment they caught wind of a song. It was nice in a way I can’t describe, something about singing together produces this feeling of communion that’s surprisingly uplifting, its comforting to know that something so small can make you, at least in that moment, feel incredibly good. I won’t lie I’ve been singing to myself ever since my lesson this afternoon and I love it.
Singing aside I’ve been reasonably productive but probably not productive enough. I met with my girls group today they were teaching about small business planning and as they have all the tools to start a small business (the exception probably being start up capital) I suggested that those who wanted to start a small business should write up a business plan and we’ll go over it together and go forward from there. I have meetings scheduled most of next week, hopefully the rains won’t interfere too much, as I can’t proceed to the next step with my grant writing until I get some more info from the committees I’m scheduled to meet with. I’ve been meeting with a couple of HSA’s who are heading the projects we hope to get off the ground soon and I have been busily working away on my GLOW stuff. I plan to go up to Mzuzu next weekend so I can check my email and see if I can’t get some meetings scheduled with prospective guest speakers and donors. I’m going to attempt a trip to the district hospital and the district assembly in Nkhotakota tomorrow, this means catching the four AM bus out. I don’t want to toy around with hitching because it can take a small eternity to get the simplest of activities done at either the district hospital or the district assembly and as I have a fairish few things I want to accomplish it seemed best to get there bright and early.
I would like to take a moment to mention the burgeoning mosquito population and why it is a terrible thing. When I stand outside or perhaps sit quietly in my house I can hear the incessant hum of swarms of mosquitoes that are waiting to descend upon my house. That high pitch whine is the background noise to my evenings. Nights like tonight are particularly unpleasant, it rained earlier today but rather than one of the rains that brings a bit of cool weather and if you’re lucky a breeze this is one of the muggy and still post rain evenings, ideal conditions for my nemesis the mosquito. Yes right now at this very moment in sounds as if there are mosquitoes in my ear. I have yet to figure out how it is that no matter where a mosquito is, it sounds as if they are in your ears. Truly the best explanation I have heard was from Duncan, his theory being that mosquitoes can throw their voices, an evil and clever distraction, which allows them to feast while you bat away at your face like an idiot.


3-2-10
Yesterday was a busy day which begin at 3AM and although trying was reasonably successful. It began with an early morning Axa ride which as per usual was a pleasure. The four AM bus wasn’t there that morning so I was early, the first person there in fact, the driver wasn’t there so it was just me and the conductor and bless him he wanted to chat. It was four in the morning and we all know how I feel about the wee morning hours, all I wanted to do was attempt to go back to sleep but I dug down deep and reminded myself that I say I’m a good person so I needed to buck up and be a decent person and talk with this guy a bit. He was a nice guy, Paul from Blayntyre, and like most folks he just wanted to practice his English and hear about America, nothing unreasonable, really the same sort of things I want from people on a daily basis. I need people to be patient with my horrible Tonga and answer what to them are probably unusual questions about their lives so as much as I was not up for a 4AM chat I pulled it together and we had a nice discussion for about twenty minutes or so and then other passengers started showing up so I was able to prep myself for sweet sweet Axa sleep. I was actually able to sleep a good portion of the trip which I found impressive and the bus wasn’t as crowded as usual so that was a plus and furthermore it was reasonably cool morning which makes Axa a completely different experience.
It rained most of the way to Nkhotakota which caused some stress on my part as I forgot my umbrella, a dumb ass move if there ever was one, and I wasn’t looking forward to arriving for a meeting with the District Health Officer looking like a drowned rat and of course theres always a bit of magic in being on a bus that is of questionable structural integrity, flying down a narrow road, full of pot holes, goats, people, and now lots of water, at high speeds. But like I said I was able to sleep about half of the way so all in all success. I brought my Ipod along this time which turned out to be the best decision ever as a young woman across the aisle from me vomited pretty much all the way from Dwangwa to Nkhotakota, that’s over an hour of vomiting. I felt horrible for her as she retched over and over again into her chitenge but hearing someone throw up has always made me a bit queasy and it was particularly unsettling that morning. It was a damned good thing I was able to put on music and pretend there wasn’t someone vomiting in closed close quarters. Of course its somewhat reassuring that no one was particularly troubled by her being sick on the bus as that’s the sort of thing that could happen to anyone here, in fact my friend Ray, the poor soul, spent an early morning on the Axa vomiting out the window, so at least you can take comfort that if it happens to you people will be understanding of your predicament.
I managed to get just about everything I wanted to get done at the district hospital done. There’s a lot of waiting involved and tracking people down only to find they don’t have the information you need, so you have to begin the mighty hunt for yet another elusive person No doubt better volunteers than myself succumb to frustration but this go round I drew upon my patience and perseverance and managed to dodge the super awkward and uncomfortable bullet. Fear not there was certainly some awkward as it is me we’re talking about here but it was certainly an improvement from my last attempt at the district hospital. I felt like I had my shit together this time, more sense of direction and purpose and by in large I believe I was professional and I was able to check several things off my to do list such as; pick up leprosy medication, get electronic copies of reporting forms, request materials for organizing and upgrading under five clinic, I wanted to meet with the district health officer, he’s the man in charge at the district hospital but as has happened every time I have been there (3 times I believe, maybe 4) he was out but I was able to meet with the deputy DHO so that was a success. I want to be sure that people at the district level know who I am and what I’m up to in Dwambazi, I believe its called networking, its not my strong suit but I can see how its important to forge as many connections as possible when trying to get work done so hopefully this was another step in the right direction.
It’s evening and I’m currently dirty, sticky, and slightly smelly, sitting on my bedroom floor with a beer and a bowl of fake ramen wrapping up the day. Uchi’s eating her ba and usipa, it’s muggy but not unbearable and soon I’ll take my mefloquin and a multi vitamin and call it a night, its been busy times.
3-3-10
Its around 7 PM and again, I’m sitting on my bedroom floor dirty, sticky, and no doubt smellier than yesterday as I haven’t bathed in some days and I biked about 16 kilometers today. Although 16k isn’t that impressive we all know I’m no athlete and it was pretty much all up hill one way. As much as it took it out of me and there were moments where I thought I might die, it was incredibly beautiful. This is the first night I have been alone at my house in sometime, Peter went home earlier than usual today and thus far no visitors. I desperately want to take this opportunity to do some power writing as I feel like there are some many things I could tell you about and yet it feels daunting at the moment. Since getting back from Hope Kit training I have been quite the social butterfly which I feel good about. I’m sure you all remember my angst about my community’s reaction to my being out so much, so its reassuring to know that all is well and that people haven’t lost faith in me. I use the facetious term social butterfly but it means more to me than I can properly convey that people come by just to chat in the same way they would drop by any neighbors house and that at the end of the day more often than not you’ll find me at someone’s house, sitting comfortably and quietly, partially trying to keep up with the Tonga or Chewa that’s being tossed around at lightening speeds but more than anything just enjoying the sound of people voices.
3-4-10
Tomorrow I leave for Chisala to visit my dear friend and Tonga sister Vanessa. We’re going to make a trip up to Mzuzu together to check email, do some GLOW work, and just hang out. It seemed imperative that I stop being a lazy ass and do some writing before I go as I continue to fail night after night. I just need to start writing about what I have been up to, so here goes…..
Sauda is no longer afraid of me, I’ve been biking all over hill and dale, I’ve been able to share food that I cooked with friends, I finally bathed, I’ve eaten more fish (and fish bones) than I ever thought possible, I’ve felt incredibly busy but I know I’m not nearly busy enough. I’ve walked in the pouring rain under the safety of my umbrella through the hills over narrow muddy paths and looked down onto the vast expanse of the lake. I’ve felt full of joy and gratitude, I’ve felt overwhelmed by the magnitude of need here and so unsure of where and how to begin, I’ve been caught out in torrential downpours and laughed as I got instantly soaked. I have moments of complete contentment and in the next breath extreme frustration, days full of purpose and direction and times where I feel lost and have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve seen things that break my heart and I hate myself for not doing more, for wasting time worrying about not doing enough rather than just doing something. I’ve spent countless hours with Peter, sometimes at my wits end but more often than not laughing at his comic high jinks. I’ve been an incredibly kind and thoughtful and I see the person I would like to be all the time; the patient, helpful person who puts others before herself. I also have had less redeeming moments of irritability and moodiness or just general laziness and self indulgence; not so much the person I want to be but someone who can spend hours listening to music, chain smoking and get lost in their own thoughts rather than doing something productive. I rode home from Nkhotakota with a baby, Lucy, on my lap and when she rested her head on my chest I, not for the first time, foolishly wished I had a child, I had lunch with a family that had a little girl named Megan, named after a previous Peace Corps volunteer. Between the awkwardness and self doubt I have had moments of surprising dignity and grace.
The morning I went to Nkhotakota there was a full moon, it was beautiful and it absolutely lit up the sky. It was bright enough that I was able to walk down to the market without any sort of light and see just fine. I had noted the full moon with relief that night when I went to bed and hoped that the clouds wouldn’t roll in overnight as my head lamp after much faithful service has finally expired. And indeed it was a clear and cloudless when I set out. The nights here are amazing. I so clearly remember being in Dedza not long after we first arrived, standing outside looking up at the sky and being amazed at how clear and bright the stars were and how close they felt. I remember thinking we must be closer to the sky and trying to come up with a logical explanation as to how that could be. There isn’t one as we aren’t any closer to the sky, its undoubtedly the lack of electricity across the country that allows one to see the stars so clearly. But I still feel like I’m closer to the sky here, I wish you could see it.
Being back in Sauda’s good graces brings me joy. We spent some quality time together just the two of us at my house yesterday, which meant I had her as a captive victim and no audience so I could practice my baby wrapping to my hearts content. I got her wrapped on my second attempt and then packed her around singing songs and tidying my house. I had given her a spoon to play with and she very happily rode around on my back swinging her spoon and chatting away (she’s very vocal these days lots of na na na and ma ma ma). When I went to take her back over to Ama Chimbuto’s, the entire family was on the porch finishing up lunch and everyone laughed as I walked up with Sauda on my back and like a proud child I said I put her on my back all by myself and we all laughed. Now that I’m back in Sauda’s good graces I look forward to lots of Sauda time. I miss caring for the small people.
Cold season is approaching; it sometimes gets cool enough at night that I need to sleep under a sheet and some days where a tee shirt is more comfortable than the standard tank top. But despite the brief respites from the heat and the now incessant rains it can still be intolerably muggy and hot, like today. But now it is cool, I can feel a slight breeze through my window and hear the distant rumble of thunder. I think a storms coming in, perhaps I’ll have a rainy trip north tomorrow

3-9-10
And once again I find myself festering in my own stink. I may officially be the dirtiest I have been to date in country. I got home yesterday, late afternoon. I did not bathe once on my trip north and I have yet to bathe today, this is day five sans washing, which I suppose isn’t so bad when compared to other volunteers, but it’s pushing my personal limits of good taste. My goal is to remedy this situation but I’m holding off on going to the borehole with the hope that perhaps the water may come back on at some point today. Not bathing aside, (there was no hot water at the lodge and no matter how filthy I am I can’t bear to shower in icy water, especially considering it’s a little chilly in Mzuzu and the shower is outside), I got a crap ton done. I was feeling reasonably proud of myself, Vanessa and I spent all of Sunday doing GLOW work, there was a lot of email correspondence with potential guest speakers and donors and other volunteers who are actively participating in this year’s camp, all in all pretty damn productive. When you make it into the cities it is all too easy to fall into a state of complete lassitude, gorging yourself on any and all food items within arms reach, drinking beer, watching movies, fucking around with your friends, the general decadence that one doesn’t necessarily have available at site. So I always feel pleased when I exhibit some form of will power and resist temptation and stay focused.
That having been said as I did get a fairish bit of work done in Mzuzu I am taking a personal day today. I have yet to leave the house yet, for that matter I still haven’t put on clothes. I slept in, had some quality cuddle time with the Uch, made tea and ba, made Uchi some breakfast and that’s about it. But I’m okay with it as I was such a busy beaver up north and in all fairness travel does take it out of you and this particular trip was a travel spectacular indeed which I will get to shortly. I do intend on leaving the house at some point today, I’m thinking after lunch I’ll head out and about and maybe press on with some of my work as well and bathe, it’s definitely time.
So travel adventures….. It was tough going getting north, not entirely sure why, I suppose it just wasn’t my day for travel. In all fairness I was in a bit of an irritable mood for one unknown reason or another, so I don’t think I had the patience to wait it out for that potential good ride. By tough I mean I failed at hitching so I went by various matolas and the odd mini bus, which just means a much longer, more crowded and more expensive trip.
One of the rides I caught, I believe merits a mention. So it wasn’t a matola per say, it was someone’s private truck but they were picking up a few people here and there to make a bit of extra money. At first it seemed ideal, in the back of a pickup truck, clipping along, not particularly crowded. I was feeling especially content right about the time things went south. Mind you I have been in a lot of matolas in various states of over crowding and reckless driving but I haven’t ever really felt scared. Concerned, yes, but honest to god fear no, this time I was afraid. We were heading up the lake shore road towards Nkhata Bay, under normal circumstances it’s a beautiful drive and I love driving up that part of the M-5. You drive right along the lake for awhile and then start heading up into the hills a bit and there’s this amazing rubber tree plantation, the road twists and turns through the shade of the forest, its really very nice, unless of course you are driving at lightening speeds that would make a seasoned professional driver shit their pants. Like I said I have been on some fast moving transport but this was another beast altogether, I can’t even begin to describe the experience.
The people in the matola with me, one very nice lady and about four well on their way to being drunks guys were all commenting on how fast the driver was going, with unusual looks of concern. At a certain point, rounding a corner in the rubber tree plantation I’m pretty sure I saw my life flash before my eyes and after a harrowing twenty minutes or so of white knuckling it I did what I have never done on any sort of transport before, I rapped on the window, and the driver stopped thinking someone wanted to get off, so I leaned around to the window and said you have got to slow down you are going to kill us all. You know you were going way too fast when the drunk guys thank you for slowing the driver down. After that we drove at the usual too fast speeds, not the life threatening high speeds. I can’t tell you how good it felt to hop out of that truck but on the bright side I made it to Nhkata Bay really quick like.
At that point I was over half way to Vanessa’s house but the journey was not over yet, oh no, not by a long shot. I forget just how lucky I am to live in close proximity to a main road. In all honesty I really don’t think about that much as the two sites I tend to go to the most are just as close to the road as I am and I really haven’t done all that much site visiting. I tend to see people in town or people stop by my house as I am situated so near the main road. But let me tell you I thought about it at length on my way to Vanessa’s. Her house is about 8km off the main road and transport in and out is sporadic at best. Once again I was weighted down with way too much katundu (it wasn’t my fault this time I swear it) but I figured I’d just starting walking to her house and hope for the best. The best was sweaty, tired, a clavicle that was killing me and no transport. And then blessed be I hear the sound of an approaching vehicle. It was an ambulance headed to the health center which I thought was excellent as it would be going directly to Vanessa’s what made it less excellent was the fact that they were transporting a dead body. I did not know this when I flagged them down and I felt like a real disrespectful asshole and apologized profusely and told them to keep going but they insisted I get in. Let me be clear it wasn’t out of fear of a dead body that I didn’t want to get it, it was out of respect. The family of the person who had died was in the back with the body and it felt intrusive and wrong to hop on in there with them which is what I ended up doing. I would write more about it but it feels wrong to expand on the situation much further. Just know it was really uncomfortable, I offered what lame condolences I could and tried to not fall onto the body as we bounced up the mud logged road.
I spent that day at Vanessa’s sight, we attended a birthday party, I had some proud language moments, got to see her site in all it’s glory all in all it was a good day. We left for Mzuzu early the next morning. It was raining and we took a matola out of her site and the remainder of the way north. I counted approximately twenty seven people in the back of this very small pick up. We were crammed in with all manner of luggage under a tarp that kind of kept the rain out and that was held up by way of resting on our heads. Poor Vanessa, bless her heart, she sat on the tailgate of the truck with the bulk of the katundu and was not covered by the tarp. By the time we arrived in Mzuzu she was soaked and I was damp (but my ass was soaked as it missed out on the limited protection of the tarp). As we were traveling I looked over at Vanessa, thought about how I looked and had to laugh. We lamented over the fact that I didn’t bring the Flip as that was one of those moments that we could never properly describe to people back in the states.
Oh sweet joy the water is on…….
And I have bathed and it feels good. I realize it was actually only four full days no bathing but there was lots of travel involved so it still was probably the nastiest I have ever been but certainly not the longest I have gone. As much as I am enjoying my personal day and managing not to destroy it by getting all guilty and angsty, I think I’m going to head out for a bit. I, like an absolute idiot, left my phone charger in Mzuzu so I need to go down to the market and see who charges phones and if they have a charger that is compatible with my piece of shit phone.
I was at peace with my new phone in fact I was developing a fondness for it but now it’s fired. My other phone charger fits this phone but for one reason or another it won’t charge, I have a universal charger from the states with an USB that should allow it to charge from my computer but no, no, it fails. So yeah that’s my goal for the day, find a way to charge my phone, mbwenu.
I’ll be going into Lilongwe at the end of the month for GLOW stuff, to submit a grant (if all goes according to plan which it better), and I believe there is a training being put on by another volunteer that I am going to attend with a counterpart. The moral of the story is I have a bit of stuff that I need to get done before this trip to Lilongwe. I feel I’ve been reasonably productive at site of late but I think for the next two weeks, if I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, I should be straight busy at nearly all times. So I am going to take this day of nothingness and milk it for all it’s worth. I may even open a bottle of wine as a reward if I find someone to charge my phone, hell I’ll open it either way.

3-12-10
At this point in the evening I’m not sure if I can summon the strength to describe the shit show that was my house today. Sweet mary mother of god it was powerful stuff. It was a good day for sure, but damn it was intense. I’m a social person in the community, I’m used to having people drop by but this was unlike anything I have experienced at site to date. It began at six AM and lasted the entire day. This wasn’t just the usual Peter and Freddy time, neighbors coming by to chat, or a meeting with one of my counterparts at the hospital….actually it was and then some. This was all the usual suspects and more. It was one after another, Ama Chimbuto and Sauda, Ada Jodi, Ada Jembe, someone I only know in passing who had a project proposal, Ada Kenneth, Peter was pretty much present throughout the shit storm of people, Freddy came and went, and the usual group of children had amassed and were raucously playing cards and listening to the radio. Ama Chimbuto was scheduled to return at 6:00 for a nsima cooking date. By 5 I had concluded my business with Ada Jodi, Ada Jembe, the newcomer, and was wrapping up with Ada Kenneth while trying to cook beans. I still needed to go to the market to buy tomatoes and collect my phone from the barber shop where it was being charged and make a run to the borehole as I had run out of drinking/cooking water.
It was one work related visit after another. I’m working with Jembe on the outreach clinic in Mbiwi, Jodi is another HSA at the hospital and his community, Chimgonda, wants to build an under five outreach clinic as well, Kenneth is the agricultural extension worker in Dwambazi and he contacted me about starting nutritional gardens throughout the area. It was all sorts of busyness.
My day had begun routinely enough a slight deviation from the norm was that Peter was my wake up call this morning and we had our most serious discussion yet about early morning visits. He’s normally really good about not coming by early but in the past week he has relapsed into routinely dropping by before school, i.e. 6 or half six in the morning. I’ve been ignoring him and going back to sleep but this morning it was clear an intervention was necessary otherwise this would become my life, not unbearable but annoying. I actually felt kind of bad; I didn’t yell or anything but my serious discussion consisted of the following. Me opening the door looking frazzled, fumbling with my chitenge, saying “awa awa awa” (no no no), At this point he most likely sensed danger and thus tried to interject with a friendly morning greeting but I just wasn’t having it so I soldiered on….”ndingukambiya iwe kuti mutuzacha kuno mulenji lenji, pepani kweni sonu mulata, mbwenu” and then firmly shut the door. Translation (mind you I’m sure this is mutilated Chitonga but it got the point across), "I told you that you cannot come here early in the morning, sorry but now you must go, enough”. Later in the day while we were sitting down and I was looking over what he did at school he said completely unprompted with the utmost sincerity, “sorry about this morning” and I said “sorry I was angry” so I’m pretty sure all is well in Peter land and the early morning visits should cease and desist at least for a few weeks or a month, then who knows we may have to do this all over again.
After Peter I had one other surprise early morning visitor, this was someone I only know in passing therefore they were not aware of my strange msungu ways of sleeping past half five. When I opened the door looking I’m sure flustered and frustrated and said I had been sleeping he asked if I was sick, bless them. At this point I figured I might as well just get up and get going. I spent my morning at the hospital, weighing babies and making plans with Ada Kweve for a community development meeting we are trying to schedule. I left the hospital a little early with the intention of coming home and spending the rest of the day working on my Mbiwi grant. And so it began…
My day ended with Sauda sleeping in my bed while Ama Chimbuto and I sat on the kitchen floor eating nsima, greens, a little somba and beans. I cooked the beans, Ama Chimbuto cooked somba and gave me nsima and greens which I cooked under her careful supervision. Tonight was an auspicious night, I believe I understood a whopping 90-95% of what Ama Chimbuto said to me. Normally I get maybe 75%, on a bad day 50% or less. Ama Chimbuto’s technique for chatting with me has remained constant throughout my stay here. Her technique, speak to me as if I actually understand Chitonga, just have a conversation and assume I’ll catch on eventually. This has no doubt improved my Tonga immensely but the downside is I miss I lot of what is being said, but tonight, victory. I think some of my success comes from the fact that in the last month I have realized that Ama Chimbuto mixes a lot of Chewa into her Tonga. I’m guessing I actually understand a lot more Chewa than I think I do as it’s fairly common for people to mix their languages here. Now that I’ve realized that there’s a fairish bit of Chewa mixed into what Ama Chimbuto is saying I’m on the look out for it and I get what she’s saying much better.
Normally before I go to bed I make sure that all dishes are washed and everything is in its right place but I think tonight I’m all in, I’ll just have to let go of a little OCD and clean and tidy tomorrow.