Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Two blogs one day, aren't I a busy beaver
So happy thanksgving all, its been a long month, much of which I will write about when I finally get back to site and can sit down and type some shit out. IST is done, participating in girls camp check, back at site for a few days and now I find myself back in Lilongwe. This is going to be my last trip out of site for some time, traveling is great and all but you start to get a little flayly when your out too much. So the last thing I posted is a bit out of date but I know your're all dying to know what I'm up to so belated posting it is. I hope everyone is doing well, I miss you all and look forward to Thanksgiving day phone calls. If I get some time this weekend I might try to get something else up here but for now enjoy the facebook pictures and know that I miss and love you all.
Its been awhile.......
10-12-09
Busy busy times here in Malawi. I’ve been back at site for about a week now and have realized how little time I have until I go in for IST (in service training). Thus I have been working feverishly to get my shit together for the big event. IST is in Dedza and its where we learn the skills that would have been damn helpful to have, say a month ago, such as grant writing, funding sources, income generating activities (IGAs) etc. I get why Peace Corps doesn’t give you that information during training. One, time is of the essence, your in and out of PST and really I think pre service training should be by in large about language and eight weeks to get a grip on an immensely difficult language isn’t near enough. Also they don’t want people getting to site and sending in grants half cocked to UNAIDS or Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. There is some good common sense in taking your time and getting to know your community, it can just be frustrating at times to not know how to get things off the ground. So yeah beginning November 1st I will be in Dedza, I believe IST goes until the 14th. Theres some question as to whether we have another language intensive after IST, I’m hoping that’s not the case, as my plan is to come back to site after IST, collect my dog, and then head down to Zomba for Thanksgiving.
I would prefer to bring Uchi with me but I’m going to have to cut the cord sometime. She’ll be staying with my friend Courtney and really sending Uchi to another volunteers house is bordering on pampering. I treat her like an American dog, she sleeps in the house, I cook her food, as a rule I don’t let her run loose, and she comes with me places. At some point I need to rein some of this behavior in as its not sustainable for her and its selfish on my part. Dogs don’t stay in houses here and having her accustomed to that kind of treatment is setting her up for problems later but now shes so small and she has a leg problems (of course I’d get the cripple dog). Her legs bow in something fierce, the vet thinks its an issue with her growth plates, so I have both of her front legs splinted at the moment which I will continue to do for about a month in hopes that it will correct the issue. I just don’t have the heart to let my peanut of a dog with the bandaged legs be too independent just yet. Leg issues aside Uchi is doing great, shes grown a ton and her coat looks all sleek and beautiful as opposed to mangy. I took her to the vet in Lilongwe and as it turns out shes about four months old, thus making her the tiniest most stunted creature ever but shes no longer skinny just miniature. Shes getting real sassy these days but shes still a good little dog. Although the name Uchi has stuck I call her Uyu about fifty percent of the time so if I reference her as such now you’re informed.
Enough dog talk….Things I must do prior to IST
-Complete my community needs assessment and community study which means I must
--go to the District Assembly in Nkhotakota boma and collect statistics on Dwambazi particularly with regard to NGOs, CBOs, and FBOs registered in Dwambazi
--prepare a survey to give to various community that assesses base line health and unmet needs. I actually finished the survey today. I did a general survey, one specific to people with HIV/AIDS, women with vulnerable children, and hospital staff. Now is the challenging part which is having people complete the survey and processing the data.
-Choose a counterpart. I’ve been dragging my feet on this one, perhaps due to my inability to make up my mind about anything, but that aside the dilemma is I want to bring a woman to IST. I suppose I should explain counterpart before I go on. So your counterpart is simply someone in the community, most likely from your place of work that you feel can work with you on various projects. You can work with people who aren’t your counterparts and you can have more than one counterpart, so picking a counterpart isn’t that big of a deal, only in so much as you bring your counter part for a one week training during IST. This is why I want a female counterpart. Women are underrepresented in all facets of life in Malawi so I think its extremely important that a women get the training that is offered at IST. Alas the two female HSAs I think are a no go. The one is very nice but pretty conservative to a point that I don’t think shes going to be the greatest champion for women’s empowerment and her English is functional but probably not sufficient and the other female HSA I don’t know very well so it would be weird to have her come with. At this moment I’m leaning towards the younger nurses, specifically Quenni as she is someone with whom I feel very comfortable, she’s progressive and I think she’d be a really asset to projects pertaining to womens empowerment. In fact as soon as I wrap up typing I should go over and have a chat with her but either way I need to make a decision ASAP.
-Find someone to water my plants while I’m gone. It’s a mighty struggle keeping my plants alive (water is still off) and I’ll be damned if they are going to die in my absence.
-I have to meet with a women’s group in Kande beach that makes bags out of chitenge that are extremely popular with the volunteers and get some bags to sell at IST.
-Finalize where Uchi is staying. Courtney will take her but shes going to be in Lilongwe until the first, so I think I’m going to have to take Uchi to Lilongwe pass her off to Courtney and then continue on to Dedza. Thankfully Uyu is a champ about public transport which is often more than I can say about myself.
Wow I am sure that was engaging reading, it felt a lot like me talking out loud about how I’m going to get all my shit done in roughly two weeks, and for that I apologize. All in all site is good, as I mentioned before still no water. Today was the most unkind cut of all, suddenly out of nowhere the water turns on. I tell you it was the most magnificent sound in the world, but no joke it only ran for about five minutes and then bas. But at least it was on for a bit, it makes watering the plants so much easier when the taps working. Its getting hot here, sometimes I wish I had a thermometer so I could brag about the unnaturally hot temperatures I’m enduring but other days I think its best not to know. It’s a solid 100 or 100 + during the day. I can’t explain to you what a tin roof does for indoor heating in extreme temperatures. Right now for example its 5:45 PM the sun is no longer beating down on us but I would wager its about 85 to 90 in my house. I am currently sweating copiously as is the norm, you wake up at 10 at night and you have to turn your pillow over as its drenched in sweat as is the rest of your body, its powerful times. But again better this than being posted someplace like Moldova with artic like conditions.
10-21-09
I normally have myself a drink or two before I write but alas today we’re going dry and for that I am sorry as I’m sure my gift for writing is only magnified in the absence of alcohol. I’m crawling towards fiscal responsibility and attempting to save money which means luxuries, like beer, must be reined in. We’re now a week away from my departure for IST, in attempt to bolster my sense of accomplishment I read back over what I wrote the other day to see what all I have managed to get done and in all fairness I’ve gotten a few things checked off the list and tomorrow I’m going in to Nkhotakota to gather more data and Friday I’m doing a mass surveying of people with HIV which just leaves processing the data and filling out the appropriate forms. I’m not sure quite how to describe the frustration and nagging self doubt that’s been plaguing me of late. Mind you all is well here no catastrophic events or deep sadness I think I’m just facing some challenges on a few fronts.
One is my lack of confidence in my ability as a leader or organizer I’m just not great at getting up in front of a group of people and being like heres the plan. It pains me to write this but sometimes I wonder if I wouldn’t be better suited in the long run working in an organization that provided more structure where I was in less of a leadership role. No one likes to think of themselves as a follower type but I’m not sure if mobilizing and self directed work are perhaps my strongest skills. What my skills are we have yet to find out but I’m hoping they will manifest themselves soon. The other issue has to do with the scope of the need present here and trying to create projects that address those needs. What I mean by this is, as much as I believe in community based development and small scale projects versus large scale projects that often don’t address the pressing needs of the community and are tinged with outside interests and imperialism theres something to be said for building capacity in infrastructure. I mean the most basic things that wouldn’t even be considered in logistics in the states aren’t present here. My hospital serves a population of around 10,000 people; we have no doctor, no electricity, the most basic supplies required to function are in limited supply, people walk 5,10, 15 k to get here because roads that can be traveled by vehicle are a scarce, as is the money to pay for what transportation there is. The vast majority of people who die at our hospital die of treatable diseases. There are 60 doctors in this entire country, 9 dentists, in my primary school there are 866 students enrolled (there are many more school age children who just don’t go) and 9 teachers, this is a standard rural teacher to student ratio. I believe I’ll be able to get meaningful work done here its just tough because you can do something to get someone out of dire straits but the ability to change the larger context of their suffering is beyond you. This country needs more teachers, doctors, schools, roads, really any public works project you can think of we need. But then I think maybe these things aren’t beyond me maybe I’m just not very good at what I’m supposed to be doing.
I’m hoping that didn’t sound as whiney and self pitying as I think it might have…. On another depressing note, my friend Queeni one of the nurses at the hospital, is being sent to a different hospital in Zomba (the government can’t afford to pay her salary here so they are sending her to one of the Christian Health Ministry hospitals). She just dropped by to tell me shes leaving tomorrow. I’m sure I was awkward as hell as per usual but I’m going to miss her and I hope she knows that as well as the fact that I appreciate how kind she has been to me, she definitely looked out for me and she was the first friend I made here in Dwambazi.
On a brighter note I did a bunch of gardening this past weekend which made me feel very productive. Not sure if anything will come of it but I’m hoping I can manage to get some things to grow. Water has returned which has been magical in every possible way, in fact I’m a little hesitant to write about the joys of having water for fear of jinxing it. It couldn’t have come at a better time as it is hot something fierce, I’m looking forward to IST if for nothing else as a break from the lakeshore heat. The minute darkness falls the clothes come off not that I need an excuse to embrace my nudist ways but clothing is sacrilegious in this kind of climate and just can’t be tolerated. One of the benefits of the unnaturally hot weather is mango season which is blessed be, upon us. We’re still in the beginning of mango season thus I can only imagine the joys which are to come but from what I have tasted so far it will be beyond words. Mango trees are everywhere so you can just go and take mangoes as it suits you. As its early in the season, its mainly the little children who go and throw rocks at the trees to knock down the just barely ripe fruit. I being a glutton have found myself taking mangoes from the hands of these sweet children. Everyday the little buggers ask me for candy, so we’re doing a little role reversal now, they say to me Ndipaskeni msweeti (please give me candy) and I say right back to them ndipaskeni mango. In all fairness I’ve only taken mangoes from children twice, you might think ill of me for this, but you’ve never had the sweet goodness of a Malawian mango…..
10-22-09
As I feared, rejoicing over the availability of water put an end to the sweet joy of running water at the house. I returned home from Nkhotakota in the sweltering heat prepared to bring the sweet life force of water to my burgeoning garden and alas off again. It was an absolute shit show at the borehole. I suspect the water went out later in the day and thus people were caught unawares, theres almost always a few folks and by folks I mean women and young girls, never men (I believe I’ve seen a man drawing water at the borehole once and it was an oddity for sure, often men stand around the borehole but that’s about it) but today there were over a dozen people there, the queue was intense. Of course one of the perks of being an usungu is that the women will always move my bucket to the front. Today may have been my most successful water carrying yet. I am still not up to the full twenty liter bucket, but I did a solid fifteen liters today and I was assisted by one of the women on bucket placement. I have been carrying my water to far forward on my head, tougher on weight distribution but easier on balance and as my greatest fear is dropping a bucket of water I always take the route of safety on balance. But getting the bucket further back on the old head did make the job easier just a bit more precarious.
I took the five AM Axa bus into Nkhotakota today, it was no doubt the fastest trip I have ever taken via Axa. I can’t recall if I have discussed Axa transport and god knows I am not reading back over all 10,000 pages so I’ll give you a brief run down. Axa is one of the few major buslines in the country. Most transport is in the form of matolas or mini buses both of which I think I have mentioned…. These forms of transport are after infectious disease the leading cause of death in the country thus the government is subsidizing large bus companies like Axa in an attempt to push the minibuses out. This means Axa is the cheapest way to travel aside from hitching and as a rule its quicker than a mini bus or matola and as an additional benefit theres an Axa that parks in Dwambazi overnight so were the first ones out in the morning which means you get a seat and the pleasure of morning prayers (I’m not a big fan of the constant praying but if you’ve ever seen an Axa bus and the roads they travel you could see how perhaps a small prayer might be in order) but of course Axa does have it drawbacks. Although it is a bus company there are no rules and regulations that I can tell of about how many people and what sorts of things can come onto an Axa, it gets real hot and crowded and of course there are the frequent stops, less frequent than a matola but still too frequent. And then of course there are the breakdowns, such as… going to Lilongwe via Axa, heading south, business as usual bus is making some strange sputterings but its still running, another Axa bus is broken down going north bound so we stop…. I figured we were just doing a little driver to driver chat till I see the giant gas can and siphoning hose and three men arguing in Chichewa, as it turns out what was going on was our fuel injector pump was broken so we were leaving a steady stream of fuel behind us as we went. The solution and I quote “put in as much gas from the other Axa as we can, drive as fast as we can to Salima and get more gas”. This was actually a best case scenario we drove like hell and made it to Salima. All to often that sort of a scene ends with three hours by the side of the road but now that I am have become liberated to the ways of hitching theres always that option. I hitched back from Nkhotakota today and I found myself thinking about how much I love aspects of transport in Malawi. I got a ride from a semi going up to Karonga it was three men and then me, never in a million years would I hop into a semi with three strange men in the states but here, no problem, its just how you get around.
Todays transport also got me thinking of another thing I love about Malawian culture and that would be the culture of “other mothering”. You see a greater community investment in childcare as a whole in Malawi but one of the times I find it most striking is on transport, like today’s scenario, a woman with two small children sits down next to me theres only one seat next to me, which means one of her small children is crammed in the aisle as shes only got room for one on her lap. The woman does not speak Tonga or English so communication between us, limited, but I just said ndipakeni wana (its roughly the same in Chewa and Tonga meaning please give me the child) and held out my arms and she just handed the little boy over who probably wondered how he ended up in the lap of this strange, pale, with rings in the face creature but then proceeded to fall asleep. This is the norm culturally, if someone passes you a child you just take them no questions asked, when women are scurrying to get onto matolas people just reach out and take the children, sometimes the children just stay with whoever has put them on transport sometimes they go back with their mothers, I’ve ridden with many a small child via matola. Often if theres a space issue the person with more space around them just takes someones child and puts them on their lap to make more room. Theres a real sense of solidarity that I love about these exchanges and mothering feels like a much more shared experience here than in the states. These shared child care experiences extend well beyond transport, anytime I see Ama Chimbuto she’ll just toss me her baby Sauda (I believe its actually spelled Sauder but the er is pronounced more like a strong ah) or if I’m at one of the health talks at the under five clinic just sitting in someone will pass me a baby. I suspect some of the thinking is Nya Banda must be lonely over there without a baby, lets assist her, and too right they are I enjoy packing around the wee people.
I believe I named a baby about a month ago, my Tonga’s pretty touch and go so I could have understood wrong but I was working the under five clinic and we were having a lull in baby weighing and a woman came up with a brand new baby and handing said baby to me. What I know she said was Nya Banda see our new baby, she was just born. I was then able to say she was beautiful and then I believe the woman asked me to give her a name. After some attempts at crossing linguistic barriers I just assumed she wanted me to pick a name so I went with Frances, I’ll have to do some follow up and see if Frances stuck.
I had a very proud Tonga language moment the other day. As is the norm with my proud language moments it involved speaking to children but you gotta start somewhere. I was at my friend Melanie’s site, we were heading up to Mzuzu together for the day and her dog was attempting to follow us to the road. As this was happening there were a group of small children standing near by and Mel was like “I wish I could tell them I want Baibo to stay here” and I was like I think I can say that so I busted out with the following…. Iwe, zani kuno. Mynangu nid Ine tikhumba kuti Galu waja kuno, viyo wawona galu waza wakamba yema yema. Translation, You please come here. My friend and I want that the dog stays here so if you see the dog come you say stop stop. Yema is a strong command so by using yema I was emphasizing that the dog should be forcefully kept back. If you wanted to tell a person to stop you would say yemani, unless of course they were an asshole in which case yema applies. That day was full of moments of language pride just before my speak to the young child about the dog when Mel and I were walking out of the village there was a little girl at the bore hole trying to get an extremely large bucket of water on her head. I was able to tell her please wait, lindiziani, so I could rush over while saying ndingawovyani (can I help) and help her get the bucket up. It was a useful language day.
On a less joyful note, I will not be doing surveying at the ARV clinic tomorrow because my counterpart who was going to assist me will not be here, he just stopped by to tell me this. Why is that, because he’s attending the funeral of his nephew. And why did his four year old nephew die? Malaria, a treatable disease, a disease I’ll never get because I unlike most Malawians have access to medication that prevents malaria and should I get malaria despite my mefloquin I will have access to medical care unimaginable to most Malawians. You can say that health is a basic human right till your blue in the face, you can be sincere and full of passion when you say it, I know I am, but what does it mean to the millions of children who continue to die of malaria every year? What I’m trying to say is that sometimes these things that we say and that are true feel so hollow here because where’s the follow through. You tell people they have a right to health but wheres the clean water that you don’t have to walk a kilometer to get? You tell people they have a right to education but where are the schools? These are the things you struggle with here, how do you bring these resources to people, how do you take the abstract, these are your rights and turn it into something tangible?
Busy busy times here in Malawi. I’ve been back at site for about a week now and have realized how little time I have until I go in for IST (in service training). Thus I have been working feverishly to get my shit together for the big event. IST is in Dedza and its where we learn the skills that would have been damn helpful to have, say a month ago, such as grant writing, funding sources, income generating activities (IGAs) etc. I get why Peace Corps doesn’t give you that information during training. One, time is of the essence, your in and out of PST and really I think pre service training should be by in large about language and eight weeks to get a grip on an immensely difficult language isn’t near enough. Also they don’t want people getting to site and sending in grants half cocked to UNAIDS or Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. There is some good common sense in taking your time and getting to know your community, it can just be frustrating at times to not know how to get things off the ground. So yeah beginning November 1st I will be in Dedza, I believe IST goes until the 14th. Theres some question as to whether we have another language intensive after IST, I’m hoping that’s not the case, as my plan is to come back to site after IST, collect my dog, and then head down to Zomba for Thanksgiving.
I would prefer to bring Uchi with me but I’m going to have to cut the cord sometime. She’ll be staying with my friend Courtney and really sending Uchi to another volunteers house is bordering on pampering. I treat her like an American dog, she sleeps in the house, I cook her food, as a rule I don’t let her run loose, and she comes with me places. At some point I need to rein some of this behavior in as its not sustainable for her and its selfish on my part. Dogs don’t stay in houses here and having her accustomed to that kind of treatment is setting her up for problems later but now shes so small and she has a leg problems (of course I’d get the cripple dog). Her legs bow in something fierce, the vet thinks its an issue with her growth plates, so I have both of her front legs splinted at the moment which I will continue to do for about a month in hopes that it will correct the issue. I just don’t have the heart to let my peanut of a dog with the bandaged legs be too independent just yet. Leg issues aside Uchi is doing great, shes grown a ton and her coat looks all sleek and beautiful as opposed to mangy. I took her to the vet in Lilongwe and as it turns out shes about four months old, thus making her the tiniest most stunted creature ever but shes no longer skinny just miniature. Shes getting real sassy these days but shes still a good little dog. Although the name Uchi has stuck I call her Uyu about fifty percent of the time so if I reference her as such now you’re informed.
Enough dog talk….Things I must do prior to IST
-Complete my community needs assessment and community study which means I must
--go to the District Assembly in Nkhotakota boma and collect statistics on Dwambazi particularly with regard to NGOs, CBOs, and FBOs registered in Dwambazi
--prepare a survey to give to various community that assesses base line health and unmet needs. I actually finished the survey today. I did a general survey, one specific to people with HIV/AIDS, women with vulnerable children, and hospital staff. Now is the challenging part which is having people complete the survey and processing the data.
-Choose a counterpart. I’ve been dragging my feet on this one, perhaps due to my inability to make up my mind about anything, but that aside the dilemma is I want to bring a woman to IST. I suppose I should explain counterpart before I go on. So your counterpart is simply someone in the community, most likely from your place of work that you feel can work with you on various projects. You can work with people who aren’t your counterparts and you can have more than one counterpart, so picking a counterpart isn’t that big of a deal, only in so much as you bring your counter part for a one week training during IST. This is why I want a female counterpart. Women are underrepresented in all facets of life in Malawi so I think its extremely important that a women get the training that is offered at IST. Alas the two female HSAs I think are a no go. The one is very nice but pretty conservative to a point that I don’t think shes going to be the greatest champion for women’s empowerment and her English is functional but probably not sufficient and the other female HSA I don’t know very well so it would be weird to have her come with. At this moment I’m leaning towards the younger nurses, specifically Quenni as she is someone with whom I feel very comfortable, she’s progressive and I think she’d be a really asset to projects pertaining to womens empowerment. In fact as soon as I wrap up typing I should go over and have a chat with her but either way I need to make a decision ASAP.
-Find someone to water my plants while I’m gone. It’s a mighty struggle keeping my plants alive (water is still off) and I’ll be damned if they are going to die in my absence.
-I have to meet with a women’s group in Kande beach that makes bags out of chitenge that are extremely popular with the volunteers and get some bags to sell at IST.
-Finalize where Uchi is staying. Courtney will take her but shes going to be in Lilongwe until the first, so I think I’m going to have to take Uchi to Lilongwe pass her off to Courtney and then continue on to Dedza. Thankfully Uyu is a champ about public transport which is often more than I can say about myself.
Wow I am sure that was engaging reading, it felt a lot like me talking out loud about how I’m going to get all my shit done in roughly two weeks, and for that I apologize. All in all site is good, as I mentioned before still no water. Today was the most unkind cut of all, suddenly out of nowhere the water turns on. I tell you it was the most magnificent sound in the world, but no joke it only ran for about five minutes and then bas. But at least it was on for a bit, it makes watering the plants so much easier when the taps working. Its getting hot here, sometimes I wish I had a thermometer so I could brag about the unnaturally hot temperatures I’m enduring but other days I think its best not to know. It’s a solid 100 or 100 + during the day. I can’t explain to you what a tin roof does for indoor heating in extreme temperatures. Right now for example its 5:45 PM the sun is no longer beating down on us but I would wager its about 85 to 90 in my house. I am currently sweating copiously as is the norm, you wake up at 10 at night and you have to turn your pillow over as its drenched in sweat as is the rest of your body, its powerful times. But again better this than being posted someplace like Moldova with artic like conditions.
10-21-09
I normally have myself a drink or two before I write but alas today we’re going dry and for that I am sorry as I’m sure my gift for writing is only magnified in the absence of alcohol. I’m crawling towards fiscal responsibility and attempting to save money which means luxuries, like beer, must be reined in. We’re now a week away from my departure for IST, in attempt to bolster my sense of accomplishment I read back over what I wrote the other day to see what all I have managed to get done and in all fairness I’ve gotten a few things checked off the list and tomorrow I’m going in to Nkhotakota to gather more data and Friday I’m doing a mass surveying of people with HIV which just leaves processing the data and filling out the appropriate forms. I’m not sure quite how to describe the frustration and nagging self doubt that’s been plaguing me of late. Mind you all is well here no catastrophic events or deep sadness I think I’m just facing some challenges on a few fronts.
One is my lack of confidence in my ability as a leader or organizer I’m just not great at getting up in front of a group of people and being like heres the plan. It pains me to write this but sometimes I wonder if I wouldn’t be better suited in the long run working in an organization that provided more structure where I was in less of a leadership role. No one likes to think of themselves as a follower type but I’m not sure if mobilizing and self directed work are perhaps my strongest skills. What my skills are we have yet to find out but I’m hoping they will manifest themselves soon. The other issue has to do with the scope of the need present here and trying to create projects that address those needs. What I mean by this is, as much as I believe in community based development and small scale projects versus large scale projects that often don’t address the pressing needs of the community and are tinged with outside interests and imperialism theres something to be said for building capacity in infrastructure. I mean the most basic things that wouldn’t even be considered in logistics in the states aren’t present here. My hospital serves a population of around 10,000 people; we have no doctor, no electricity, the most basic supplies required to function are in limited supply, people walk 5,10, 15 k to get here because roads that can be traveled by vehicle are a scarce, as is the money to pay for what transportation there is. The vast majority of people who die at our hospital die of treatable diseases. There are 60 doctors in this entire country, 9 dentists, in my primary school there are 866 students enrolled (there are many more school age children who just don’t go) and 9 teachers, this is a standard rural teacher to student ratio. I believe I’ll be able to get meaningful work done here its just tough because you can do something to get someone out of dire straits but the ability to change the larger context of their suffering is beyond you. This country needs more teachers, doctors, schools, roads, really any public works project you can think of we need. But then I think maybe these things aren’t beyond me maybe I’m just not very good at what I’m supposed to be doing.
I’m hoping that didn’t sound as whiney and self pitying as I think it might have…. On another depressing note, my friend Queeni one of the nurses at the hospital, is being sent to a different hospital in Zomba (the government can’t afford to pay her salary here so they are sending her to one of the Christian Health Ministry hospitals). She just dropped by to tell me shes leaving tomorrow. I’m sure I was awkward as hell as per usual but I’m going to miss her and I hope she knows that as well as the fact that I appreciate how kind she has been to me, she definitely looked out for me and she was the first friend I made here in Dwambazi.
On a brighter note I did a bunch of gardening this past weekend which made me feel very productive. Not sure if anything will come of it but I’m hoping I can manage to get some things to grow. Water has returned which has been magical in every possible way, in fact I’m a little hesitant to write about the joys of having water for fear of jinxing it. It couldn’t have come at a better time as it is hot something fierce, I’m looking forward to IST if for nothing else as a break from the lakeshore heat. The minute darkness falls the clothes come off not that I need an excuse to embrace my nudist ways but clothing is sacrilegious in this kind of climate and just can’t be tolerated. One of the benefits of the unnaturally hot weather is mango season which is blessed be, upon us. We’re still in the beginning of mango season thus I can only imagine the joys which are to come but from what I have tasted so far it will be beyond words. Mango trees are everywhere so you can just go and take mangoes as it suits you. As its early in the season, its mainly the little children who go and throw rocks at the trees to knock down the just barely ripe fruit. I being a glutton have found myself taking mangoes from the hands of these sweet children. Everyday the little buggers ask me for candy, so we’re doing a little role reversal now, they say to me Ndipaskeni msweeti (please give me candy) and I say right back to them ndipaskeni mango. In all fairness I’ve only taken mangoes from children twice, you might think ill of me for this, but you’ve never had the sweet goodness of a Malawian mango…..
10-22-09
As I feared, rejoicing over the availability of water put an end to the sweet joy of running water at the house. I returned home from Nkhotakota in the sweltering heat prepared to bring the sweet life force of water to my burgeoning garden and alas off again. It was an absolute shit show at the borehole. I suspect the water went out later in the day and thus people were caught unawares, theres almost always a few folks and by folks I mean women and young girls, never men (I believe I’ve seen a man drawing water at the borehole once and it was an oddity for sure, often men stand around the borehole but that’s about it) but today there were over a dozen people there, the queue was intense. Of course one of the perks of being an usungu is that the women will always move my bucket to the front. Today may have been my most successful water carrying yet. I am still not up to the full twenty liter bucket, but I did a solid fifteen liters today and I was assisted by one of the women on bucket placement. I have been carrying my water to far forward on my head, tougher on weight distribution but easier on balance and as my greatest fear is dropping a bucket of water I always take the route of safety on balance. But getting the bucket further back on the old head did make the job easier just a bit more precarious.
I took the five AM Axa bus into Nkhotakota today, it was no doubt the fastest trip I have ever taken via Axa. I can’t recall if I have discussed Axa transport and god knows I am not reading back over all 10,000 pages so I’ll give you a brief run down. Axa is one of the few major buslines in the country. Most transport is in the form of matolas or mini buses both of which I think I have mentioned…. These forms of transport are after infectious disease the leading cause of death in the country thus the government is subsidizing large bus companies like Axa in an attempt to push the minibuses out. This means Axa is the cheapest way to travel aside from hitching and as a rule its quicker than a mini bus or matola and as an additional benefit theres an Axa that parks in Dwambazi overnight so were the first ones out in the morning which means you get a seat and the pleasure of morning prayers (I’m not a big fan of the constant praying but if you’ve ever seen an Axa bus and the roads they travel you could see how perhaps a small prayer might be in order) but of course Axa does have it drawbacks. Although it is a bus company there are no rules and regulations that I can tell of about how many people and what sorts of things can come onto an Axa, it gets real hot and crowded and of course there are the frequent stops, less frequent than a matola but still too frequent. And then of course there are the breakdowns, such as… going to Lilongwe via Axa, heading south, business as usual bus is making some strange sputterings but its still running, another Axa bus is broken down going north bound so we stop…. I figured we were just doing a little driver to driver chat till I see the giant gas can and siphoning hose and three men arguing in Chichewa, as it turns out what was going on was our fuel injector pump was broken so we were leaving a steady stream of fuel behind us as we went. The solution and I quote “put in as much gas from the other Axa as we can, drive as fast as we can to Salima and get more gas”. This was actually a best case scenario we drove like hell and made it to Salima. All to often that sort of a scene ends with three hours by the side of the road but now that I am have become liberated to the ways of hitching theres always that option. I hitched back from Nkhotakota today and I found myself thinking about how much I love aspects of transport in Malawi. I got a ride from a semi going up to Karonga it was three men and then me, never in a million years would I hop into a semi with three strange men in the states but here, no problem, its just how you get around.
Todays transport also got me thinking of another thing I love about Malawian culture and that would be the culture of “other mothering”. You see a greater community investment in childcare as a whole in Malawi but one of the times I find it most striking is on transport, like today’s scenario, a woman with two small children sits down next to me theres only one seat next to me, which means one of her small children is crammed in the aisle as shes only got room for one on her lap. The woman does not speak Tonga or English so communication between us, limited, but I just said ndipakeni wana (its roughly the same in Chewa and Tonga meaning please give me the child) and held out my arms and she just handed the little boy over who probably wondered how he ended up in the lap of this strange, pale, with rings in the face creature but then proceeded to fall asleep. This is the norm culturally, if someone passes you a child you just take them no questions asked, when women are scurrying to get onto matolas people just reach out and take the children, sometimes the children just stay with whoever has put them on transport sometimes they go back with their mothers, I’ve ridden with many a small child via matola. Often if theres a space issue the person with more space around them just takes someones child and puts them on their lap to make more room. Theres a real sense of solidarity that I love about these exchanges and mothering feels like a much more shared experience here than in the states. These shared child care experiences extend well beyond transport, anytime I see Ama Chimbuto she’ll just toss me her baby Sauda (I believe its actually spelled Sauder but the er is pronounced more like a strong ah) or if I’m at one of the health talks at the under five clinic just sitting in someone will pass me a baby. I suspect some of the thinking is Nya Banda must be lonely over there without a baby, lets assist her, and too right they are I enjoy packing around the wee people.
I believe I named a baby about a month ago, my Tonga’s pretty touch and go so I could have understood wrong but I was working the under five clinic and we were having a lull in baby weighing and a woman came up with a brand new baby and handing said baby to me. What I know she said was Nya Banda see our new baby, she was just born. I was then able to say she was beautiful and then I believe the woman asked me to give her a name. After some attempts at crossing linguistic barriers I just assumed she wanted me to pick a name so I went with Frances, I’ll have to do some follow up and see if Frances stuck.
I had a very proud Tonga language moment the other day. As is the norm with my proud language moments it involved speaking to children but you gotta start somewhere. I was at my friend Melanie’s site, we were heading up to Mzuzu together for the day and her dog was attempting to follow us to the road. As this was happening there were a group of small children standing near by and Mel was like “I wish I could tell them I want Baibo to stay here” and I was like I think I can say that so I busted out with the following…. Iwe, zani kuno. Mynangu nid Ine tikhumba kuti Galu waja kuno, viyo wawona galu waza wakamba yema yema. Translation, You please come here. My friend and I want that the dog stays here so if you see the dog come you say stop stop. Yema is a strong command so by using yema I was emphasizing that the dog should be forcefully kept back. If you wanted to tell a person to stop you would say yemani, unless of course they were an asshole in which case yema applies. That day was full of moments of language pride just before my speak to the young child about the dog when Mel and I were walking out of the village there was a little girl at the bore hole trying to get an extremely large bucket of water on her head. I was able to tell her please wait, lindiziani, so I could rush over while saying ndingawovyani (can I help) and help her get the bucket up. It was a useful language day.
On a less joyful note, I will not be doing surveying at the ARV clinic tomorrow because my counterpart who was going to assist me will not be here, he just stopped by to tell me this. Why is that, because he’s attending the funeral of his nephew. And why did his four year old nephew die? Malaria, a treatable disease, a disease I’ll never get because I unlike most Malawians have access to medication that prevents malaria and should I get malaria despite my mefloquin I will have access to medical care unimaginable to most Malawians. You can say that health is a basic human right till your blue in the face, you can be sincere and full of passion when you say it, I know I am, but what does it mean to the millions of children who continue to die of malaria every year? What I’m trying to say is that sometimes these things that we say and that are true feel so hollow here because where’s the follow through. You tell people they have a right to health but wheres the clean water that you don’t have to walk a kilometer to get? You tell people they have a right to education but where are the schools? These are the things you struggle with here, how do you bring these resources to people, how do you take the abstract, these are your rights and turn it into something tangible?
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